Once I noticed I was on fire, I decided to relax and enjoy the fall

To Lori Gottlieb: Go fuck yourselves, we don’t want you.

April 9, 2008 at 11:47 pm (Uncategorized)

Read this article.

Okay? Here’s my reaction. Go fuck yourself, Lori, and all your friends can go fuck themselves too. Please keep conceiving children through artificial insemination, because believe it or not, men do not exist solely to allow you to have your fantasies of child rearing. Those dweebs, overweight guys, balding guys, and guys with big noses you advise your readers to settle for?

They don’t fucking need you. They don’t need someone to finally get done fucking the hot guys (or trying unsuccessfully to) and to deign to grace their homes long enough to get impregnated because they’d make great dads. Thank you ever so much for condescending to settle for them. “Sure, it’s not true love, but he’s funny and he’d make a great dad.” Yes, he will, for someone other than you. Or maybe he won’t. For all you know, he doesn’t even goddamn want kids.

The one line in the entire article that showed a smidgeon of self awareness was this one: Now, though, I realize that if I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life, I’m at the age where I’ll likely need to settle for someone who is settling for me. However, Lori decides that this is because she’s no longer the young, vivacious, interesting person who went on hiking adventures and performed at comedy clubs.

News flash. It’s not because you got older and are less interesting. It’s because you’re a shallow, vapid person who judges other people entirely by the value they bring into your life, weighing and discarding them like packages of meat at a farmer’s market. By definition, if you were actually an interesting person, your lifetime of experiences would enhance you, not detract from you solely due to the fact that you aren’t currently performing them. You’d be more interesting. But you are not, not because you’re older and have wrinkles, but because you’ve stridently avoided letting yourself grow in any fashion.

I can’t tell you how much contempt I have for this woman’s article. Do men a favor, any women out there, don’t settle for us. Because quite frankly, if you think you’re that much above the man you’re contemplating marrying, you’re not worth his time.